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Popka

The tragedy of Papa Wang

In the midst of all the turmoil in Neo China, Popka, "Papa Wang" rose to power at the age of 0.5 and established himself as Triad Emperor who controlled all the Klonoa dust trading routes in the Uber sector. Because of his charm and godly ability to merely talk people into submission, Papa Wang is widely known as the greatest Triad Emperor to ever take the position.

Popka later encountered Jesus and started his own religion called Mahoukaism. He is known as the 'Pope of Mahoukaism' and requires all his subjects to nuke a country for their imoutos before being indoctrinated to the religion. It is a test to see how far people will go for their sweet little imoutos.

Origins

Popka was born premature to two human slaves on the slopes of Mount Doom when the Last Alliance of Elves and Men fought for the freedom of Middle Earth against Sauron's armies. Many lives were lost that day, including Popka's parents. The foul air surrounding the environment was too much for Popka's miniscule body to handle. Instead of dying, however, the toxic fumes immediately caused a massive genetic mutation within him, developing his physique to that of a teenage boy, doubling his strength, heightened his senses, and significantly slowed his age progression. Naked, he proceeded on the battlefield, handanaling every orc, elf, and man standing in his way, until he stood face-to-face with Sauron, the enemy of the free peoples of Middle Earth. Popka then proceeded to handanal Sauron into submission, cutting off his head, and took the One Ring for himself. Thus, the Republic of China was born from the ashes of Mount Doom.

Showing no interest in ruling an entire nation, Popka instead left China to more capable individuals, but not before building the Great Wall of China made out of Sauron's surprisingly long intestines. Popka then traveled the universe in search of a purpose for living, adopting the nickname Wang because apparently, everyone in China had Wang as their last name.

Tragedy of Papa Wang

In his long travels, Popka discovered the land of Phantomile. There, he met the love of his life, a woman whose name was lost in the history records. In order to fit in with its inhabitants, Popka transformed himself into an anthropomorphic dog and quickly grew to enjoy life in his newfound home, along with his wife.

But it was not to last. In one unfortunate night, a legion of Kryptonians descended upon Phantomile and proceeded to massacre its people. Left with no choice, Popka volunteers to be left behind to fend off the invaders, sending his wife and unborn child to safety; a ship heading for Earth. Tragically, shortly after takeoff, a Kryptonian detects the ship carrying Popka's family and destroys it to smithereens. Overcome with overwhelming grief and rage, Popka proceeded to handanal every single Kryptonian threatening Phantomile, ending the invasion in mere seconds. The destruction inflicted upon Phantomile, however, proved too great, and the planet itself started to implode from the abuse. Realizing that he is alone once more, Popka left the world and headed back to the only other place he knew: China.

Return & Rise to Power

Popka's return to his homeland was not met positively. Upon stepping foot on Chinese land, he immediately realized it was not the same China he once new. Instead, the person he left in charge appointed himself as the so-called Triad Emperor. He basically left the country to ruin, where corruption, imoutos and lolis, and rape infested the land. Instead of going for a full frontal assault, Popka opted to disguise himself as a lowly foot soldier within the Triad Emperor's ranks and slowly worked his way up the ladder. Years later, Popka became the Triad Emperor's right hand man. Finding the perfect opportunity to strike, Popka handanals the Triad Emperor out of existence and thus became the new Triad Emperor. He then helped Emperor Qin unite the country under one banner and bring peace to the land. It is also at this time that Popka met and trained under the Master of The Flying Guillotine.

Popka also did some uniting on his own, doing so with rival triads everywhere. Popka's negotiating and handanal skills proved legendary, and any triad was willing to join his growing army of triads. As Triad Emperor, Popka controlled all China's trade routes and shared those resources to the oppressed people. He punished the unjust with torture, and was a big hit with the ladies. So big that his multi-trillion dollar penthouse is where his harem lives to serve him every day. His reputation, legendary skills, and generosity earned him the nickname "Papa Wang."

Popka's reputation reached even that of the Uber Elitists. Impressed by their ideals of quality anime and enlightenment, he quickly joined and became an esteemed member of the organization.

Mahoukaism

Popka claimed he "saw the light" when he encountered Tatsuya Jesus preying on women and making their kokoros go dokidoki with his Jesus Venom. Popka was so inspired he started his own religion; he is sometimes referred to as the 'Pope of Mahoukaism' or the 'Wang of Mahoukaism.' The main objective of Mahoukaism followers is to nuke a country for their sister and inject themselves with Jesus Venom everyday as the ultimate test of faith for their sweet little imoutos. Lordzeru himself endorses Popka's campaign and donates a bunch of shit to support the completely justified cause.

Skills and Abilities

Popka "Papa Wang" developed handanaling abilities of his own, but since joining the Uber Elitists, he has modified and perfected his handanaling style under the tutelage of FastWheels and ForgoneReality. Popka is also an expert hand-to-hand combat specialist, has high persuasion skills, incredible strength, fast regeneration abilities, and an IQ of 9000.

Stats

HP: 499110

Attack: 18,000

Defense: 18,000

Special Attack: 9001

Special Defense: 9002

Speed: 9999

Quotes

- "Either make your voice deeper or stop screaming!"

- "I'm allergic to nuts."

- "I have an apple with a face carved into it that I mummified and kept for ten years."

- "It'll be fine as long as you don't take us to bed with you, Forgone."

- "This [Pupa] is what you would get if the Elfen Lied mangaka made a manga out of Tite Kubo's poems."

- "I don't need sweat shops.  I make everything out of Katamaris."

- "If Mahouka was a person I would burn its house down."

- "Electricity is what comes down from the sky when the Lord God Tatsuya sees a woman in an outfit without sleeves."

- "So if Mahouka S2 was a homeless man whose house got burned down asking me for shelter, I would kill him.

- "If this show was a squirrel on my lawn when I was mowing the grass I would mulch it."

- "You can't absorb banana through your vagina."

- "It's so easy to kill people, there's no reason not to."

- "I would fuck with my kids so much."

- "I haven't killed many people lately..."

- "I'll fucking rip out your spine if you ever say that to me again you piece of shit."

- "And yeah, I rolled up a bunch of people...but that doesn't hurt them."

- "If you ever tell me to watch LN adaptations again you will be dead to me."

- "Oh my god. This is worse than Ayn Rand."

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