The Plebian Squirrel

AngelsArcanum is a complete pleb who is light years away from being an enlightened being. Is the butt of many jokes, and rightfully so. 


Angels "Will the Pleb," "The Plebian Squirrel" Arcanum is from Canada. Which really explains a lot about his character. Hates Cipher and Phil Collins with a passion.

Contributions to Canadian Culture


Bringing you bagged milk. Like a plebe.

Will is the sole mastermind to a handful of the many things Canada is notorious for. The list includes:
  • Nickelback
  • Bagged Milk
  • Justin Bieber
  • The Misadventures of Rowsdower
  • The Final Sacrifice
  • Plebeian port of Grand Theft Auto IV
  • Crime
  • Glow-in-the-dark dinosaur quarters
  • Canadian Thanksgiving

These things and more would eventually lead to the downfall of Canadian society.

The Squirrelman

Squirrel signal

The Squirrel Signal

Not many people know that Will is no ordinary bishounen squirrel. No, sir. While he introduces more of his ridiculous ideas of what Canadian culture should be like or when not transforming into an anime pretty boy to woo innocent lolis, he takes up the mantle of Squirrelman, fighting crime during the night, whereever they may be.

When the local police just can't seem to get the job done, who do they call? The Squirrelman. Who do criminals fear so much their nuts fall out of their pants? The Squirrelman. Who does Batman call for assistance when Superman can't get it done either when he cries like a little bitch when he is defeated by mere Kryptonite? And get his nuts chopped off? The Squirrelman. No one has been able to discern his true identity because they're too busy panicking over their nuts disappearing after The Squirrelman instills justice to evil-doers and vanishes into the nut-filled night. Angels then continuously stuffs his face with nuts until the wee morning hours.

Perhaps The Squirrelman's best secret power is his ability to grant unlimited power to potential mahou shoujos in every corner of the universe. In addition to his crimefighting at Squirrel City at night, he grants mahou shoujo powers during the day. All in his grand conquest to find the legendary Golden Nut.

Soap Entrepreneur

By some unpredictable move, Angels proceeded to watch Fight Club and now worships it as his man-bible. He now uses soap as a way to launch himself as a squirrel businessman and entrepreneur, selling them to nightclubs, ghettos, sweatshops, and even installing them himself under suburbs and the city sewers for some type of grand plan he seems to be cooking up. He has frequent one-night stand orgies with Helena Bonham Carter lookalikes and is responsible for fight club chapters all over the Uber Elitist Kingdom. Some say he was responsible for sinking Atlantis because the glycerin in the soaps he sold there were set off by an unknown catalyst, exploding in a violent chain reaction, and forever wiping the great city off the face of the Earth.

Skills & Abilities


Quest for Nut

So far, Angel has seen Apocalypse Now, Chinatown, Fight Club, and American Beauty; so far he has earned a total of 999,999 EXP points. He is currently a level 100 plebe and has graduated from Plebe Tier-1 school with valedictorian honors. He is now attending Plebe Tier-2 Junior High, showing his dedication to wipe his gradually disappearing plebe status. He will watch The Shining and Master of the Flying Guillotine next.

Since his training started, Angels has been able to withstand various attacks. In one pivotal event, dietmango, lordzeru, Drunkenblowfish, and ForgoneReality teamed up to joke him into oblivion. This victory was short-lived, however, as Angels came back from said oblivion unscathed. Thus, his first trial towards true enlightenment was complete.

Angels is also known for having selective memory; is able to forget certain events at will, a first for any Uber Elitist club member. This developed during a knife fight over some nuts when Will both got stabbed and shot in the head by a loli in his kitchen. When he came to, his 3 billion stash of nuts in his house were gone with no memory of what happened the night before.

Will can transform between a squirrel to a bishounen, and has, at one point in history, successfully wooed Amberleh because of his charming good looks during his transformation.


HP: Pleb +

Attack: 100 

Defense: 500

Special Attack: 110

Special Defense: 500

Speed: Pleb - 1



Is at odds with ForgoneReality, one of the truly enlightened members of the Anime Uber Elitists, and is constantly doing battle with his arch-nemesis. They do however, get together for tea and crumpets whenever they do agree on something. And then they try to Kamehameha each other to total oblivion. Angels cannot fathom his way of thinking due to the plebian tumor (filled with memories of Mad Bull episode 4) that grows in the back of Angel's head. 


Neane slowly lifted his shirt to expose his nipples to AngelsArcanum while saliva slowly leaked out the corner of his petite squirrel mouth, whispering "It gets so freaky..." And then with the left hand slowly, but surely massaged Angel's elbows...

To be continued...

Lifetime Achievement Award


Master of Plebian Arts

The Plebian Squirrel was decreed an award by the Fuhrer of The Anime Uber Elitists for truly exhibiting mastery of the Plebian Arts, having never seen any of the must-see classic films. His disgrace was then enshrined in the form of a great achievement award, forever to be remembered as the highlight of his life. 

Hall of Freaky

A storid collection of Angels' exploits with girls, boys, acorns, busting nuts, and chest cavity massaging that have been cleared for public viewing. A picture is worth a thousand words, they say. Enjoy:



- "I'm allergic to nuts."

- "I swear to almighty, if she corrects someone one more time saying 'I'm not a detective, I'm a NEET detective,' I'mma bust a nut!"

- "Sometimes my guy friends will start touching my chest cavity and it gets so freaky..."

- "...and my other friend always lifts his shirt and rubs his nipples when he disagrees with me he'll be like "You wanna go bro?" and I'll be like "I'll mess you up" and then he flashes me."


- "OMG shut up Nick."

- " would be a privilege if someone of stature ripped off my privates."


- "Fuck me. WHY JODY WHY!?"

- "I'm just a bit of a narcissist, so sometimes I root for the people who are as attractive as myself (or at least, close) to be the deciding factor for me (and not in a gay way)."

- "Think I just need to go easy on the meat for a bit."

- "If it was puffy I'd think less of you Amber."

- "Shinji! You gotta hit the G-spot! Do it now!"